It’s springtime in the year 12,000…
And Tippi the teacup boarlette has a full day ahead.
First, she’ll watch the cherry blossoms with her best friend Lina, a synthetic intelligence who’s clocked the past 9,000 years without a physical form. Then, Tippi will eat some turnips, and perhaps check on her roommate Xoz, who happens to be a 1,000-pound, billion-dollar mollusk bred for deep-space warfare.
Sure, civilization ended centuries ago, and Tippi lives in a cave somewhere under the Delaware Water Gap, but that never stopped her from having a good time.
Join writer Cyriaque Lamar (Gawker’s io9, Cracked.com) and illustrator Xiaoling Li for the first book in a trilogy about horror and family, friendship and mania, all in the face of an incomprehensible universe.
One chapter left!
- Epigraph
- Prologue – The Last Cackle
- Chapter 1 – Tithes for Inhalants
- Chapter 2 – The JupiterĀ Gasthaus
- Chapter 3 – A Lucky Puddle
- Chapter 4 – Theistic Seasoning
- Chapter 5 – A Tolerable Purgatory
- Chapter 6 – Like A Fire At Peak Lethal
- Chapter 7 – Sisters
- 1st Day Outside
- Chapter 8 – Whark!
- Chapter 9 – bumps: bumps
- 2nd Day Outside
- Chapter 10 – A Most Exclusive Apocalypse
- Chapter 11 – Hunk Pox
- Chapter 12 – Ticked Down Turbo
- Chapter 13 – The Rest of Mes
- Chapter 14 – Schwesterherz
- 3rd Day Outside
- Chapter 15 – Leviathan
- Chapter 16 – All Physics
- Chapter 17 – Face-plants Imminent
- Chapter 18 – Children of The Clench
- Chapter 19 – Utica Elites
- Chapter 20 – Shots
- Chapter 21 – Gyri and Sulci
- Chapter 22 – Go Max Mean
- Chapter 23 – The Distraction Factory
- Chapter 24 – Hot Dog Ex Machina (coming Spring 2026)
SupportĀ Future, New Jersey
Future, New Jersey is free to read online, but, if you prefer physical media, print copies will be available in Fall 2026. Tips on PayPal are also appreciated, and it costs nothing to recommend Future, New Jersey to everyone in earshot.

